Bahahahaha … Oh, You’re Serious?!?!!

The Treatment of Bush Has Been a Disgrace.

So says Jeffrey Scott Shapiro in what may be the most ridiculous thing the Wall Street Journal has ever printed, ever. Let’s just take an excerpt, you know, because we are masochists:

According to recent Gallup polls, the president’s average approval rating is below 30% — down from his 90% approval in the wake of 9/11. Mr. Bush has endured relentless attacks from the left while facing abandonment from the right.

This is the price Mr. Bush is paying for trying to work with both Democrats and Republicans.

Oh, so Karl Rove and Tom Delay actually sought to be bipartisan? Really? Man, I didn’t even notice.

But wait, there’s more!

Yet it should seem obvious that many of our country’s current problems either existed long before Mr. Bush ever came to office, or are beyond his control. Perhaps if Americans stopped being so divisive, and congressional leaders came together to work with the president on some of these problems, he would actually have had a fighting chance of solving them.

So a devastated economy and a world that hates us were things that existed before he took office? Man, I need to stop playing Wii Sports and start paying attention.

My big issue with this column is his conclusion—that the nation’s treatment of Bush “has shown to the world how disloyal we can be when our president needed loyalty.” That’s a farce whether you like the president or not. Part of demoracy and living in America is the right—indeed, the duty—to criticize our leaders, and to demand change. If you want a country where loyalty is given unconditionally just because of a presidential seal, I hear there are plenty of apartments available in downtown Havana.

Newspaper Mania!

Here’s a really interesting link to the awesome collection of newspaper covers assembled by the Newseum in D.C. for this very special November 5th.

The heads up is courtesy of the beautiful and incomparable Anne Sibert, my confidante and Mason-Dixon stow away.

Ralph Nader: Unsafe At Any Microphone

Quick aside: the title was my idea. And that photo makes me look really fat. Thanks, Joe. But on to the issues at hand:

I like Ralph Nader. A lot. I voted for him in 2000 with a clear conscience. I have seen An Unreasonable Man. I’ve heard him speak at town halls. I admire his persistence to the causes of consumer safety and social justice, and really, everyone should. The man is a civic treasure.

Which is why it has been so painful to watch him this past week.

First off, let’s go to his final campaign press conference, where, as some sort of protest against the media’s coverage of his campaign, he decides to give only one-word answers to questions. I’m sure he thought it made some sort of grand statement, but instead it came off as childish and quite frankly pathetic.

Then let’s go to his final interview on Fox News, where in front of the largest audience he’s had this entire election season with the exceptions of Meet The Press and Real Time with Bill Maher, he self-immolates:

Yes, I know that he didn’t actually call Obama an Uncle Tom, and his points are valid, but he should really know better than to use that term at all when referring to a black man. Amazingly, Shep Smith gives him a chance to take it back and he refuses! At the end of it, poor Shep looks like he wants to cry.

Nader’s greatest strength—his tone-deafness—is also his greatest weakness. Does he really believe the things he said and did this past week endear him to a larger group of people? Does he really believe he’ll gain supporters this way? Blog after blog after blog after blog, writers and commenters alike share the same sentiment: we loved Ralph, but he is pissing his legacy away.

I sincerely hope this is the last time he runs, for his sake.

“Hello world!” and “Business Journalism”

Isn’t the “Hello world!” tradition in programming adorable? Programmair fideles!

Sam and I, here, mark our fabulous foray into the world of who-gives-a-shit as a sort of Voltron-like ultima-blogger; where no politics are safe from our swift verbal fists and snide rejoinders.

Get Rich Quicker Than Ever Before: Remember, Remember the Fifth of November!

This is the first of a sporadic series of reports — as dramatic as they are unreliable — that are about how to get rich quick in the big city. On this most auspicious of occasions, we look no further than the biggest of easy, Times Square.

Outside the New York Times Building on W. 40th St. today, there was a line up the street of people buying copies of the “Obama Wins” edition of the paper. The otherwise typical Wednesday presses ran a very bold, one-word headline: Obama. Racial Barrier Falls in Decisive Victory.

The line at the Times lasted for a good portion of the day, comprised of people waiting to buy as many copies as their inky arms could carry, because one issue could get you about $100 on free-for-all free-market sites like eBay and Craigslist.

As of about 6 p.m. today, copies of an ‘istoric day’s first draft on eBay ranged in price from about $20 up to over $100. Or you could “buy it now” for the low low steal of $199.99 if you couldn’t wait to pull it out of those big green recycling pales by the subway. (By the way, that’s gross and also, I see you when you do that!)

So this week’s get richer quicker scheme is: Go pick through your neighbor’s recycling this Sunday when it’s out on the curb, and find that 12-inch goldmine (down from 13.5, or a horizontal trim of about:

Then just break out your digital camera, toss it up on eBay and watch the money roll in.

Or, you could go the dick route like this guy on Craig’s List and be really melodramatic about your perceived self-importance since you learned how to be greedy on the Internets.

Go with yourselves.