Isn’t the “Hello world!” tradition in programming adorable? Programmair fideles!

Sam and I, here, mark our fabulous foray into the world of who-gives-a-shit as a sort of Voltron-like ultima-blogger; where no politics are safe from our swift verbal fists and snide rejoinders.

Get Rich Quicker Than Ever Before: Remember, Remember the Fifth of November!

This is the first of a sporadic series of reports — as dramatic as they are unreliable — that are about how to get rich quick in the big city. On this most auspicious of occasions, we look no further than the biggest of easy, Times Square.

Outside the New York Times Building on W. 40th St. today, there was a line up the street of people buying copies of the “Obama Wins” edition of the paper. The otherwise typical Wednesday presses ran a very bold, one-word headline: Obama. Racial Barrier Falls in Decisive Victory.

The line at the Times lasted for a good portion of the day, comprised of people waiting to buy as many copies as their inky arms could carry, because one issue could get you about $100 on free-for-all free-market sites like eBay and Craigslist.

As of about 6 p.m. today, copies of an ‘istoric day’s first draft on eBay ranged in price from about $20 up to over $100. Or you could “buy it now” for the low low steal of $199.99 if you couldn’t wait to pull it out of those big green recycling pales by the subway. (By the way, that’s gross and also, I see you when you do that!)

So this week’s get richer quicker scheme is: Go pick through your neighbor’s recycling this Sunday when it’s out on the curb, and find that 12-inch goldmine (down from 13.5, or a horizontal trim of about:

Then just break out your digital camera, toss it up on eBay and watch the money roll in.

Or, you could go the dick route like this guy on Craig’s List and be really melodramatic about your perceived self-importance since you learned how to be greedy on the Internets.

Go with yourselves.